SCARLETT JOHANSSON: “MONOGAMY’S NOT NATURAL”, HAS AU NATURAL WEDDING

October 7, 2008

Ryan’s One Set of Lips Away From Smooching Javier Bardem

Evidently Vicky Cristina Barcelona star Scarlett Johansson has re-thought her “monogamy is a weird thing, because, let’s face it, we’re f-cking animals,” Cosmo comment. The Hollywood stalkerazzi don’t usually miss much, but even they were shocked when word came out that Scarlett and Definitely, Maybe’s Ryan Reynolds had jumped the broom and gotten hitched after just over a year of dating. How did the ridiculously hot couple manage to keep details of their nuptials under wraps when super couples like Beyonce and JayZ and Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony can’t? Evidently the long lens of celebrity photogs doesn’t extend to the wilderness of Vancouver Island (camera, check; film, check; passport, oooops). And of course, having the frenzied media pack focused on Jessica Biel and Justin Timberlake’s rumored to be imminent journey into wedded bliss is a useful cover.

With a small circle of friends and family, the new Mr. and Mrs. Reynolds combined a backpacking weekend with a wedding ceremony at the Clayoquot Wilderness Resort, a luxurious outpost of 20 canvas tents that caters to nature lovers. Somehow we can’t imagine Ryan’s former fiancé Alanis Morissette enjoying roughing it - unless it’s to scratch her nails down a cheating love’s back. No word on whether or not ScarJo said “yes, to the dress” Stella McCartney had designs on creating for the occasion. Stella, who made Madonna’s dress for her marriage to director Guy Ritchie, joked, tongue firmly in cheek, about what she had in mind for the bodacious bride, “You know, some kind of dodgy, black thing. Latex! Latex for Scarlett!” Plans are afoot to throw a larger celebration for the couple. ShoeMinx wants all the pomp of a big Hollywood wedding and pictures of the blonde bombshell with her signature red lips! Frankly, after envying her lip-locking libidinous roles with Aussie treat Eric Bana in The Other Boleyn Girl and sensual like-water-for-chocolate hunk Javier Bardem, we feel owed a bit of couture eye candy to sate our celebrity fixation.

While we wait for the PR-approved wedding snaps to appear in People, let’s celebrate the happy couple’s blessed union - and the fact that Justin Timberlake is still technically available - with these rockin’ retro Stella McCartney heels. So they’re not the typical wedding-white, but our girl Scarlett has never struck us as the traditional “The Knot” type anyway. Besides how could you resist? These shoes are impossibly gorgeous.